How lucky am I?
Saturday, February 25, 2012
A decade of Changes
I found myself thinking about how grateful I am that my life didn't turn out the way I planned and that it's time for me to make a new plan. I can't exactly remember what I had planned 15 years ago, but I know where I was 10 years ago. I was 15. February wasn't a very good month for me. It's not a time in my life that I like to reflect on, but it was definitely a pivotal moment. I still haven't decided whether I am grateful for the experiences and lessons learned. Pretty sure I could have fared on just fine without, but one thing I do know; because of my experiences, I have learned true forgiveness. I have learned what is in my control and what isn't. I didn't learn this right away. I'd say I was finally able to free myself from those experiences just this past year and I hadn't started working on it until I was 22. Many believe that for all actions there is a reaction. I used to say that I was a certain way because of the actions of others. I now choose to live my own life free from the actions of others. What you do does sometimes affect my emotions, but I choose to pick myself up and remember that I can control only myself and the best revenge is a happy person when someone tries to make you feel like you are less than what you are. Just always remember. Everyone has been through hard times. That is why we are here. Most don't know how to forgive and let go and let their heart feel peace again. I don't think people intentionally hurt others, I just believe they are too selfish to realize the pain the are causing. It has taken me 10 whole, wasted years, and a lot of Dr Pepper, to let go of the betrayal and anger that I felt in my heart, but I am only 25 years old and I get to spend the rest of my life with the understanding of forgiveness, the experience of peace after a storm, and the commitment to be a happy woman no matter how others treat me.
How lucky am I?
How lucky am I?
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Every little thing is gonna be alright
Some days it just seems like you're trying to walk up the down escalator. Normal pace will never get you where you want to be and it takes a little extra strain. Well imagine someone pushed the speed-up button, if there was one, and you found yourself tripping to try and get to the top. It's no fun and you'll end up all scrapped up. But if you were to stand at the bottom and take a few minutes to collect your thoughts, get the goal in mind, and time it just right I bet you'd still make it. Some times we forget to stop and think things through. There's nothing better than sitting down at the kitchen table and planning out where you'd like to be. It makes you feel empowered. I find that when I just simply write things down I end up accomplishing them without really putting all my focus.
In October 2010's General Conference, President Uchtdorf gave a talk titled "Of Things that Matter Most". It focuses mostly on slowing down and turning our attention to what matters most. Prioritizing. I'm not going to lie. I really like technology. I really, REALLY like my iPhone. One might even go so far as to say I'm addicted. But it seems that technology is taking attention and time away from the relationships right in front of our faces. We go to dinner and 5 out of the 6 people have to answer a text or a call at some point in the night. Maybe this is why there were less divorces 15 years ago? There were less distractions? If only we could cut out the fat, as an old boss used to say. If we could get rid of all the truly unnecessary things in our lives, slow down, and re-evaluate, we might actually have less stress and more healthy relationships. I am certainly not an expert at this. It's the 23rd of the month and I've sent/received a total of 4,634 text messages. That's A LOT of time spent talking with people who aren't right in front of my face. Can you imagine if I had used that time to read to my children or work on a church project I've been working on or enjoy the family I have or do a household chore I've been putting off? Wow!
I'm not going to say that I will never text again, because that's just plain ridiculous, but I am going to try and keep it below 500 for the rest of the month. That's only 6 days. But less than a 100 texts a day. Can I do it? I bet I would feel so much less stress if I spent less time hangin with the iPhone and more time focusing on my kids or honey. I just got off the phone with V. He mentioned to me that I can sometimes ignore him when I really get going with a conversation. How awful is that?! Here's to cutting out the fat and focusing on the real things that matter in life; the beautiful people standing next to me.
In October 2010's General Conference, President Uchtdorf gave a talk titled "Of Things that Matter Most". It focuses mostly on slowing down and turning our attention to what matters most. Prioritizing. I'm not going to lie. I really like technology. I really, REALLY like my iPhone. One might even go so far as to say I'm addicted. But it seems that technology is taking attention and time away from the relationships right in front of our faces. We go to dinner and 5 out of the 6 people have to answer a text or a call at some point in the night. Maybe this is why there were less divorces 15 years ago? There were less distractions? If only we could cut out the fat, as an old boss used to say. If we could get rid of all the truly unnecessary things in our lives, slow down, and re-evaluate, we might actually have less stress and more healthy relationships. I am certainly not an expert at this. It's the 23rd of the month and I've sent/received a total of 4,634 text messages. That's A LOT of time spent talking with people who aren't right in front of my face. Can you imagine if I had used that time to read to my children or work on a church project I've been working on or enjoy the family I have or do a household chore I've been putting off? Wow!
I'm not going to say that I will never text again, because that's just plain ridiculous, but I am going to try and keep it below 500 for the rest of the month. That's only 6 days. But less than a 100 texts a day. Can I do it? I bet I would feel so much less stress if I spent less time hangin with the iPhone and more time focusing on my kids or honey. I just got off the phone with V. He mentioned to me that I can sometimes ignore him when I really get going with a conversation. How awful is that?! Here's to cutting out the fat and focusing on the real things that matter in life; the beautiful people standing next to me.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Hello World
Recently, I've found that I haven't exactly enjoyed facebook. I'm not impressed with the way it has seemed to ruin more lives than it has been able to enhance. Sure, sure, there's always the "I just want to see how my friends from.... are doing, it's perfectly harmless". But, in reality, relationships take a natural progression. For whatever reason, we make friends, have them for a certain time in our life until our paths change, and we move on. Hopefully, we leave each friendship or relationship with a more positive outlook in our life, but sometimes friendships leave us feeling more empty or down than we were to begin. Now, why on Earth would we want to rekindle a friendship that either thankfully ended on a good note, or unfortunately, bad. Most of the time, it has been my experience (my long and wise 25 years) that the past should be left where it belongs. In addition, Do I really need to hear what you had for lunch, how many times your child has used the bathroom, or whether this is the WORST DAY EVER? That being said, I am going to join the blogging world once again, but I am choosing to leave my facebook open because of all the pictures I do have on there. Darnit.
A few years back I was actually fairly consistent with my blogging and updating how my little family was doing, then things changed and I stopped. I didn't exactly want to document those sad times in my life. I still haven't decided whether this is a good thing or not, but it is what it is. I have now found that I would like to remember my life as it is now, whether anyone reads this or not. So, here we go again, without the negativity that accompanies facebook.
I am 25 and a single mother. I work in the banking industry. Nope, not a teller, although this is most commonly the question I am asked when I tell people I work for a bank. I love being 25. I love being a mother. I also love drinking Dr Pepper. This is my Sorcerer's Stone; my liquid gold; my sanity. I do not like pastries and especially Strawberries. The way to my heart is through Tulips, Taco Amigo, and Nordstroms. Unfortunately, Nordstroms seems to fall to the bottom of the list lately. I adore my honey and my children. I've learned a lot about myself these last two years.
Fenway is 5 years old. He is doing really well in preschool. I have yet to register him for Kindergarten. I don't exactly know what city he will be going to school in, or I just can't face the fact that I'm old enough to have a child in grade school. More on that to come. He has been a bit difficult lately, but we are working on it. Apparently, I'm a bit of a pushover and he has been made to believe he rules the house. Goals for this month: No new toys and no reactions to his tantrums. We seem to be making a bit of progress. He love his sister. For the most part, they get a long really well and love each other. He especially adores his DSD. V is very good with M. He can connect with him on a level that I can't. I am thankful that V is so patient and has been able to help me work with M more and more.
Peanut is 2.5 years old. Trust me. The .5 is very important. She turns 3 in a month and a half. When she isn't acting like a 2 year old, she is very sweet and loving. The girl knows how to work it though. V and I are going to be in trouble with her. She recently jumped off the bed at my parents house and broke her arm in two places. You'd think this would stop her from jumping off beds, but it has occurred to her that she can handle the pain, so why not try jumping off higher things. The girl has no fear. She loves anything girly and will sit very still for a good 20 minutes when having her hair done.
V is great. Currently working a crazy amount of hours. We miss him lots around here. He has recently converted to the Red Sox Nation. Nothing makes me prouder. Well ok, maybe there are a few more important things in this world, but right now it's Spring Training and just a measly 43 days til Opening Game. I'm getting butterflies. Oh yes, back to the matter of my honey. He is perfect for me. He smells good and always has an extra pair of soft sweats around for me to wear. What more could a woman want?
Life is hard, but good. I am happy to have it. I have a fantastic job that I appreciate very much. A great boyfriend who helps me be a better person and two darling children who drive me to drink much Dr Pepper.
xoxo
A few years back I was actually fairly consistent with my blogging and updating how my little family was doing, then things changed and I stopped. I didn't exactly want to document those sad times in my life. I still haven't decided whether this is a good thing or not, but it is what it is. I have now found that I would like to remember my life as it is now, whether anyone reads this or not. So, here we go again, without the negativity that accompanies facebook.
I am 25 and a single mother. I work in the banking industry. Nope, not a teller, although this is most commonly the question I am asked when I tell people I work for a bank. I love being 25. I love being a mother. I also love drinking Dr Pepper. This is my Sorcerer's Stone; my liquid gold; my sanity. I do not like pastries and especially Strawberries. The way to my heart is through Tulips, Taco Amigo, and Nordstroms. Unfortunately, Nordstroms seems to fall to the bottom of the list lately. I adore my honey and my children. I've learned a lot about myself these last two years.
Fenway is 5 years old. He is doing really well in preschool. I have yet to register him for Kindergarten. I don't exactly know what city he will be going to school in, or I just can't face the fact that I'm old enough to have a child in grade school. More on that to come. He has been a bit difficult lately, but we are working on it. Apparently, I'm a bit of a pushover and he has been made to believe he rules the house. Goals for this month: No new toys and no reactions to his tantrums. We seem to be making a bit of progress. He love his sister. For the most part, they get a long really well and love each other. He especially adores his DSD. V is very good with M. He can connect with him on a level that I can't. I am thankful that V is so patient and has been able to help me work with M more and more.
Peanut is 2.5 years old. Trust me. The .5 is very important. She turns 3 in a month and a half. When she isn't acting like a 2 year old, she is very sweet and loving. The girl knows how to work it though. V and I are going to be in trouble with her. She recently jumped off the bed at my parents house and broke her arm in two places. You'd think this would stop her from jumping off beds, but it has occurred to her that she can handle the pain, so why not try jumping off higher things. The girl has no fear. She loves anything girly and will sit very still for a good 20 minutes when having her hair done.
V is great. Currently working a crazy amount of hours. We miss him lots around here. He has recently converted to the Red Sox Nation. Nothing makes me prouder. Well ok, maybe there are a few more important things in this world, but right now it's Spring Training and just a measly 43 days til Opening Game. I'm getting butterflies. Oh yes, back to the matter of my honey. He is perfect for me. He smells good and always has an extra pair of soft sweats around for me to wear. What more could a woman want?
Life is hard, but good. I am happy to have it. I have a fantastic job that I appreciate very much. A great boyfriend who helps me be a better person and two darling children who drive me to drink much Dr Pepper.
xoxo
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